Rules For Life On The Silver Screen :-)?

During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a

strip club at least once.

All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

Most dogs are immortal.

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a

passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the

armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying

beside her.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French

Bread.

It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in

the control tower to talk you down.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba

diving.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding

place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you

can travel to any other part of the building you wish without

difficulty.

If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more

ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you

make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart

back home.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will

not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or

killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade

or his forthcoming art exhibition.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating

but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown

through it before long.

The Chief of Police is always black.

When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out

a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always

be the exact fare.

Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from

elsewhere in the universe.

Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at

night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any

strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always

say: Enter Password Now.

Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family

every morning even though their husband and children never have

time to eat it.

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or

give him 48 hours to finish the job.

A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of

RFK Stadium.

Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an

object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will

have lost this technology.

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or

ending phone conversations.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary

to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few

moments.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red

readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

It is always possible to park directly outside the building you

are visiting.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from

duty.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump

into will know all the steps.

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the

communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight

involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to

attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner

until you have knocked out their predecessors.

When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they

will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

No-one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic

eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make

sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total

opposite.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to

each other.

You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds

- unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped

inside.

An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause

no lasting damage to an eight year old child.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you

personally at that precise moment."

Rules For Life On The Silver Screen :-)?

They are so true!!! I can't stop laughing! Why is the truth so funny?

Rules For Life On The Silver Screen :-)?

Hahahahahahaaha - you should send it to Studio Bosses. I like the electric fence one especially.

ps. How come the 'helper' of the suspended cop is usually a hooker?

They solve it all and then the cops turn up after all hell has been breaking loose for the past 30 minutes! hehe

Rules For Life On The Silver Screen :-)?

It was ok